The Birds and the Bees
by jowjubeat
Summary: Mithos has an unpleasant realization after he learns about the birds and the bees... but surely Martel has never...!... a fight ensues. Rated T just in case.


Each one knew it was going to be a long night.

Silence descended the camp; the only sound that was left was crackling fire as it licked hungrily at the logs that were slowly charring and crumbling from the heat. The blaze cast a warm glow upon the three men who sat around the fire.

Yuan was looking anywhere he could rather than his two companions. His eyes darted from the fire, to his shoes, to the blinking stars above. He had probably never felt so uncomfortable in his life – it made him angry. He glanced to the side of him to see the blond half-elf staring, confused, into space. His mouth was slightly agape in wonder, his eyes slightly narrowed in disbelief. Yuan glanced away. How did he get into this mess? He closed his eyes in annoyance and folded his arms. He kept his eyes closed, waiting for and dreading that someone would speak. Such a debasing conversation. Why hadn't Martel taught him this already.

Mithos didn't know what he was staring at. His mind was completely engaged elsewhere. Did… did such a thing really happen? Had Kratos and Yuan told him the truth. He reflected upon what they had told him. Kratos had been stern, almost stoic as he explained the process to the boy – Kratos was always serious, and this did _not_ seem to be something that Kratos would lie about or make up – how could _anyone_ make up such a thing! Yuan's reaction, too, seemed to confirm it. The Half-elf could hardly look Mithos in the eye the very few times he spoke. When he did, his words seemed hard for him to say – he seemed almost angry, irritated with the conversation.

Kratos stared intently into the fire. He waited patiently for one of his companions to speak; he knew one of them would. Kratos had done his duty and explained, in the best way he could, the answer to the boy's innocent inquiry. At first he was taken aback by the stark and abrupt question from the youth, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. He had handled it well; giving the facts, saying it straight. He was old enough to know. True, it was a conversation Kratos would rather have avoided; and it did indeed leave an awkward tension that hung in the air almost as present as mana, but it had to be done. And he had done it. Now all he could do was wait as the information sunk into his young protégé's head.

"So that…." Mithos stated after a long silence, "So that's how…."

"Yes." Yuan snapped, though both of his companions realized immediately he did not mean to sound so harsh. He let out a small sigh. Kratos remained silent and threw another log into the fire.

Mithos nodded his head slowly, pursing and unpursing his lips.

"It's a bit… strange don't you think?" Mithos asked.

"It is what it is." Kratos replied.

"Kratos have you ever…." The question was left in the air, it hung like the thick smoke all around them – Mithos did not pursue.

Kratos cleared his throat, "No." he finally said – he did not like having the question looming over them. He ignored Yuan's slight scoff.

Mithos turned to Yuan.

"And you, Yuan, have you…."

Yuan's face turned an unexpected shade of scarlet and he stood up abruptly.

"I'm not having this conversation." Yuan replied sharply.

"Why not?" Mithos asked.

Kratos closed his eyes slowly. This wasn't going to end well. He knew it.

"Mithos, you don't just ask people about… that." Yuan growled, "It's private."

Mithos shrugged, "I take that as a no then. You could have just admitted it like Kraots. After all, the only person you ever loved has been Martel. And besides, it's not as if Martel…."

And that was the trigger. Yuan shifted uncomfortably and turned his back to his two companions. Kratos closed his eyes and folded his arms against his chest – this was going to be a long night. Mithos eyes began to widen, his mouth dropping open once more. His eyes darted nervously from Kratos, who refused to make eye contact with him, back to Yuan. The sudden unpleasant realization fell upon him.

"Yuan." He stated, his voice somewhere between icy anger and shock, "You didn't."

Yuan didn't say anything, but shifted uncomfortably once more, folding his arms against his chest. Kratos once again cleared his throat and reached for another log.

"Yuan." Mithos sated again.

"What?"

"Tell me you didn't."

Silence.

"Tell me you didn't." Mithos demanded again, his voice becoming colder with each word.

"Mithos, this isn't something you just ask people."

"Yuan."

"Kratos, tell Mithos that he shouldn't ask people about such private matters." Yuan spat.

"Hmph." Came the mercenary's cold reply.

"Yuan." Mithos stated again

"It's rude. You shouldn't pry." Yuan insisted.

"Yuan."

"I have to feed Noishe." Kratos stated flatly as he stood up. He walked away from the two half-elves, towards the strange green creature; their bickering still following him.

"Yuan, did you touch Martel, in any way, like that?" Mithos continued; his voice was tight.

"Mithos." Yuan scolded tersely.

"YUAN!"

Kratos pet Noishe silently.

"It's none of your business you little brat!" Yuan snapped finally, his voice rising to the level of Mithos' own voices. They weren't quite yelling; not yet anyway.

"You touched my sister, didn't you, you bastard!" Mithos roared. Then suddenly, with his arms spread out before him, his fingers like claws as he dove after Yuan with a mighty howl. Yuan sidestepped, but Mithos was too fast. In an instant they were both on the ground. A large cloud of dust rolled up from beneath hem. It mixed with the smoke of the fire, and the glow from the flames caused the dust to glimmer and glint in the light.

Kratos let out a sigh. He gave Noishe one more pat before rising and making his way slowly over to the two. Yuan hand overpowered Mithos. He had startled him and pinned his arms down above his hand. The youth snarled and flailed beneath him.

"Mithos! Stop!" Yuan barked, "You're acting like a child. You asked about adult matters, so handle it like an adult!"

But Mithos did not listen. Rather, in response, he sunk his teeth deep into one of Yuan's arms. Yuan let out a yell, releasing one of Mithos' arms. Mithos raised up his free arm and wrapped it around Yuan's neck.

"I will kill you, you bastard!" Mithos bellowed

"Mithos! Would you stop!" Yuan yelled. He tried once more to gain control by grabbing one of the youth's lanky limbs. But Mithos wriggled and wormed his way out of every hold, keeping his skinny arm around Yuan's neck.

Kratos stared at them a moment, his arms crossed, he his features displaying pity. Then in once swift movement, he grabbed Mithos and Yuan by the collar, using all his strength to pry them apart.

"Stop it." Kratos demanded, "You're both acting foolish."

The two half-elves stopped vying for each other's eyes and stared angrily at each other. Their heated pants sounded through the cold night. Once their panting had subsided some, Kratos released their collars.

"Don't. Fight." Kratos stated sternly.

There was another moment of silence; Kratos felt that, perhaps, that was all they needed in order to calm down. He glanced at both of them who were still staring intently at each other. He opened his mouth to scold them once more.

"You are both childish.:

Both of his companions seemed to freeze in time and slowly their gaze drifted from each other to Kratos. Before Kratos' realized what was happening both half-elves let out deep growls. But rather than turning on each other, as Kratos had expected they would, they turned on _him._

Kratos was aware of the falling sensation and the breeze in his hair as he fell through the air. He could feel Mithos' skinny arms wrapped around his waist, and Yuan's fist collide with his face. In an instant they were all on the ground. It was every man for himself. Yuan had a fistful of Mithos hair and was trying to rip his arm away from Mithos' sharp teeth. The hand that belonged to the arm that was being bitten was sprawled out over Kratos' face. Kratos, was attempting to shake Yuan's hand off his face while simultaneously attempting to remove Mithos' foot that was lodged, somehow, in his stomach and was sliding dangerously close to… he swallowed; growling, he grabbed Mithos' ankle and gave it a sharp tug. Mithos hissed, his teeth still clamped to Yuan's arms. Yuan let out a painful howl as his arms followed the tug and teeth. Both of Mithos' hands were occupied in clasping his prey near his mouth. He flailed his feet, trying to release himself from Kratos' iron hand. There were many grunts, growls, and howls, and suddenly they found themselves in a new tangled position.

The fight continued. Limbs flying, growls sounding, faces sneering, insults shouting. Every time one of the men started to gain advantage over the other two, they victims would gang up upon the other. Both Kratos and Yuan were subject to many painful bites, and Mithos subject to many tugs and pins.

"Stop!" Kratos shouted, "This is foolish!"  
"Shut up, inferior being!" Yuan sneered.

"I. Will. Kill. You. Yuan." Mithos continued to repeat.

And thus they were occupied in this way for quite some time. It wasn't until they felt a shadow looming over them that they all abruptly stopped to gaze at the figure that just emerged before them.

They all immediately lost the color that had risen to their cheeks due to the exercise they were participating in as their blood drained from them as they gazed up in horror.

Martel.

And she he was not amused.

"What, in heaven's name, is going on here." She demanded.

The men immediately separated them from themselves. Yuan laid, on his stomach, his eyes nervously darting around. Kratos had managed to fall back on his hands, and he leaned on them heavily, glancing off to the side. Mithos pulled himself up on his hands and knees, his eyes downcast on the dirt below.

'Well?" Martel demanded again.

The men glanced at each other quickly, each making a vow with their eyes to say nothing.

She crossed her arms and stood in front of Kratos.

"Kratos. I am extremely disappointed in you. This isn't like you at all. What were you thinking?"

Kratos glanced up at her momentarily before seeing the annoyance in her eyes. He quickly glanced away again. He glanced over at Noishe, who flattened his ears and whined – it was exactly how Kratos felt.

Martel moved over, stepping in front of her fiancé, "And you, Yuan. Didn't you tell me me that you would be kinder to MIthos?"

Yuan hung his head in shame.

"And Mithos, didn't you promise that you were going to try to act more your age?"

Tears started to well in the youth's eyes and he began to pick at that had been torn up by their scuffle.

"Look at me."

Each man slowly lifted their eyes to look at the beautiful woman before them; this would be the end.

"Now what happened?" She asked once more.

Mithos was the first to speak, unable to keep anything from his dearest older sister. He swallowed as he did

"Well… I just…" Mithos started.

"Yes?" Martel pressed.

Mithos glanced up innocently at his sister, "Kratos and Yuan were just explaining to me about…. The birds and the bees."

Martel's face went completely white. She removed her stare slowly from her brother and Kratos felt it land on him. He couldn't make eye contact with her. The glance once again shifted and fell upon Yuan. He lifted his eyes and smiled at her sheepishly. She glared. Mithos began to pick at the grass more fervently as silence descended the camp.

Each one knew that it was going to be a long night.


End file.
